I hail from a small city in the lap of Aravali hills. My upbringing has been in a simple middle class family with many challenges. I had invested my time & energy into my studies. Until my school days, I had been in a very safe & closed environment alongside my family, friends & teachers. Again in my college days, I had been lucky to cherish beautiful friendships & packed up tons of memories. And as I started my professional life which can't be any better in my dreams, I couldn't have a similar environment or maybe I wasn’t prepared to handle everything at once solely. I wanted to go back but not this time.
I am a reticent personality and don’t share or couldn't express much with the outer world. Though it's not that I was insipid and pulverized for the first time. But when I came here I got a lot of time to ponder over everything and be all by myself. I had been searching for something but didn’t know what. During this time, I realised how much I am receptive to the vibrations of my surroundings which until then I used to tag with some or the other. Sometimes I just wanted to run away somewhere where I couldn't be known. There have been few days when I used to be at ease within myself and wanted it to be just the way it is forever. I knew there is something I need to do or change. I started losing the drive to live. I wanted to embrace life but every other day I’ll be back to square one. And all of this was also taking a toll on my health. My care for my dear ones changed into bursting with anger and leaving me remorseful. I closed the doors for anyone to enter as it's horrifying to unveil myself vulnerable. To counter the stagnation, I used to keep myself busy or I would say keep myself burdened as if I am fighting against myself and have to win something.
To keep myself sane, I would cook, read, write, sing, dance, paint, take care of my plants, do yoga- meditation, listen to podcasts and watch spiritual & self care videos.
And again I started to look out for volunteering opportunities where I could teach underprivileged children so that I can bring some smiles and make at least a miniscule of difference. And during this, I came to know about Isha Vidya. So to become part of it, I decided to complete Inner Engineering.
I got initiated into Shambhavi Mahamudra Kriya on 19th September, 2021. It’s been two months as I jot down my experience through these days practicing it.
It's inexplicable in words what I have stumbled upon. It's just tranquil & serene within me. I no longer feel the urge to express myself or fight against myself and being bothered by every other transaction. There is a sense of anchor within me. Things are happening around me haywire but it leaves me amazed. An element of magic seems to be around. Some days are tiring but no longer drags me down. Even though some days wind up in chaos but 'All is well in my World'. Infinite loop of swirling thoughts are no longer bothering me. I am able to flow effortlessly. I am just playing the game with total involvement without thinking what I'll win or lose. Fearlessly embracing the unknown. Distancing myself from perfection to relishing everything just the way it is. Infused with effervescent energy and immeasurable ardour to be just the way I am.
I don't know the mechanics behind this process and haven't attained any mastery in it. But I enjoy practicing it.
I am so thankful to all those people who made it possible for me to learn and practice it.
Namaskaram!
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